The Skunkeye Consumer Guide

Springtime For Skunkeye

Its that time of year again. I had the house to myself this weekend, but of instead of throwing a wild party, Skunkeye worked himself into a frenzy cleaning and organizing, setting the stage for lifestyle changes I have to make this week. yeah.
Oh why did I let myself get suckered into a subscription to this stoopid rag. I already know how to dress, don’t need any grooming tips, can’t afford any of the gadgets, and already have too much stuff (and too many magazine subscriptions already). Certainly don't need to be fed any metrosexual pointers. So I tossed a lot of junk out this weekend in order to clear some space for myself. Dust everywhere. Injuries. Managed to file the hundreds of CDs – many of which I’ve barely listened to - that were piled up in boxes on my floor – although I gave up trying to maintain my ordering system. At least they are more or less out of sight in folios. I’m such a music junkie, need to get into some kind of program.
I haven’t watched any Netflix in two months and I realized its because my *daybed* is not in a comfortable position to watch my television. And I refuse to put the TV in my comfy zen bedroom. So I rearranged all the furniture in my *den*. I also cleared up my workspace so I can get productive again but one of legs of my drafting table is wobbly so I dunno what I’m going to do about that. Probably nothing until next Spring. Taking the big exam (again) next month - maybe Skunkeye should just visit the Botanica - so tried to make my area more conducive to studying but my daybed is now in such a comfortable position that my area is more conducive to passing out in front of the TV. Speaking of passing out, Skunkeye is well aware warmer weather will not allow him to hide his spare tire and total lack of definition so its back to the gym tomorrow. I’ve been paying my dues all year as penance. Also, cleared floor space for ab work.
Managed to refrain from buying anything except for groceries. And bulbs. Spent too much money on those again. Need to keep up with my Island of Dr. Skunkeye botanical experiments.
Had another rough night of Sunday sleep at Smithers last night – worries, fear, and doubt plaguing me all night. Had a brief but wonderful dream in which I experienced great love. Don't recall too many of the details but it was very palpable. Before anything was fulfilled, woke up with tears in my eyes. And then it was 5 in the morning and there was no point really going back to sleep if I was going to make it to The Factory on time.

Song From Under The Floorboards

Saddened to learn influential guitarist John McGeoch (Magazine, Siouxsie, PiL) passed away in his sleep yesterday. It’s all the more pity because all the kids are copping his sound these days.
Also, Kevin Shields (MBV) comes out of hiding and….speaks. Chinchillas & barbed wire?
Also, The Man called me Dorothy in front of all the Chiefs at this morning's editorial meeting. Nice.

Skunkeye Listens

Skunkeye has little time to post today but wanted to say he has been digging Franz Ferdinand. This is the best debut disc I’ve heard since The Libertines Up the Bracket – was that last year? Clever lyrics, catchy delivery, boogie-while-you-chore music. Can compare to The Strokes but these Scots aren’t nearly as derivative and the tunes appear to be original and not like cribed bits put together pleasingly.
Also listening to CocoRosie, La Maison De Mon Reve. I was prepared to hate these sisters because the whole concept seemed a tad precious. Apparently they recorded it in an apartment in Paris using toy instruments. Ummm, if Skunkeye were in Paris he wouldn’t be holed up indoors navel-gazing. There’s actually very little that’s French about the album, aside from the title, and the track “Terrible Angels” which could be referencing Pere Lachaise. I do dig “Tahiti Love Song” – almost like Cambodian circle music. CocoRosie would appeal to fans of Devendra Banhart or Dame Darcy (Skunkeye used to be her doll hair supplier – from my standard poodle ). Maybe Cat Power on anti-depressants. And hallucinogens. The lyrics are very interesting and the album works for me I guess but I don't really need to keep it in steady rotation. It’s almost like eavesdropping on two creative girls warbling in the house – one of them does an okay white girl Billie Holiday. Skunkeye can do a range of Louis Armstrong to Chet Baker to Tom Waits - and a spot-on Nico - but he makes sure positively no-one is around.
Speaking of bad singing, housemate Bumblefuck is driving me crazy with the song he is working on right now. He’s a bit down, having been dumped, and his latest, honest to god, goes “You Don’t Know How It Feels To Be Me.” Ah, the plaintive gorilla. Pouring his tone-deaf heart out. Truly awfully painful.
Yesterday morning I gagged and nearly vomitted when I was about to take a shower. The amount of Bumblefuck hair carpeting and caking the tub is horrifying. And it was mixed with phlegm. I hear him coughing it up as he is singing in the shower.
I’m quite a bit disappointed with the new Destroyer. Your Blues. Maybe its one of those albums that needs to grow on me. Skunkeye does like the cover art work though. Could've done it himself. The tinny MIDI orchestrations really are a turn off – that kind of production why I don't care for much of Stephen Merrit/Magnetic Fields work - should have used real instruments. Maybe he was trying to be ironic – well, he’s Canadian. Will listen more later - right now just annoys.
Its so nice out.

Skunkeye Sleeps With the Enemy

Skunkeye disturbingly received a call from The Man on his mobile last night. I don’t know how he got that number – it was very creepy.
So The Man has a mission for Skunkeye tells him to go to the Rival in the morning and pick up a package. It was an odd sensation walking down 18th street to the Golden Triangle this morning – I’m so used to walking down U St to catch the Green to the Government Ghetto. People dress a little better in The Golden Triangle. But it's not like this is Manhattan.
Anyway, I know The Man has some funny business going down with The Rival – he always does. The Man still seems to think Skunkeye is stupid and doesn’t know what is going on (but its kind of hard to keep track sometimes because The Man is delusional and thinks everything is a conspiracy against him).
The Rival’s offices and studios are new and beautiful and everyone seemed put together and happy and thank god I decided to dress for success today because the very nice Chief of The Rival – whom I had never met - called me into his office and had me stay a while. He even came down the elevator and walked me to the street after our conversation – The Man would never do that for any one. Not even for the Dalai Lama if he came to visit. And I was there to pick up some papers!
Looks like Skunkeye might get poached. Anyways the Rival Chief is looking out for me. It is so nice to be appreciated and wanted for a change.
Just finished taping with the Indonesians. I always get so frustrated with them because they are so disorganized and I end up having to correct their scripts right before we go on air. But they are loveable and it always ends up being fun. I love my people and it would be hard to leave them.
Not broadcasting-related, but been digging TV On The Radio. Received debut album, Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes, yesterday. Highly original, beyond category, R&B influenced cosmic rock – well-crafted songs. You heard it from Skunkeye, these guys are going to be HUGE.

You're a Mod. You dig expensive things, like suits
and speed. You have a fine appreciation for the
Kinks and know that Motown started it all, and
you have fabulous style. Hey, nice hair.


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Snatch Batch Surprise Skunkeye

The gang formerly known as the Snatch Batch swept into town Friday and surprised Skunkeye. It has been years since I’ve seen those girls – we used to be very bad together – crazy and fun times. I’ve lost track of quite few friends over the years – especially after exiling myself overseas. We had a nice reunion at Local 16 – they have matured nicely, married, with kids, happy, successful, and looked fantastic. It was quite a reality check for me – need to start growing up soon otherwise going to wind up being awfully lonely and bitter indeed. Wonderful seeing them. Now that they are gone, feel a bit wistful this Monday morning.

Also went to First Friday for the first time in ages and ran into an old friend. I miss Gallery K. Also, the Snatch Batch were able enjoy the Douglas Gordon exhibit at the Hirshhorn which pleases me.

Speaking of art, and old freinds, my dear Denby's site is now up and running. Please check it out - there's some fantastic work there. Highly original, thoughtful, and brilliant.

I'm eager to get started on my urban garden for this year but suspect we will be having a little more frost so will hold off. I do have a lily coming out though. The beautiful weather this week has been very welcome.

Skunkeye Sad for Sprouse, Stewart

Stephen Sprouse passed away today. Most of America knows him for his recent Target design work. Highly original and influential player in the NY art/punk/fashion scene - Debbie Harry's confidante and imagemaker. Big hero for Young Skunkeye, would read about him in old-school Interview and Details - made me want to grow up, move to NYC, and be a part of that scene. Then the nineties came and Sprouse sorta disappeared for a while and the city changed...saw him at Twilo once but too shy to say hello. This is his "Triple Sid."

Also Martha Stewart just got slammed big time. Really got scapegoated. Its sad because men get away with that kind of stuff all the time... And her K-Mart housepaints actually match the pallete color cards!

Skunkeye Blames Canada

Another blah day at the Factory. Skunkeye is just waiting for the afternoon whistle to blow so he can punch out. At this morning’s editor meeting the Ombudsman stopped by. His panties are in a twist because his office ranked lowest on an agency wide survey The Man put together to stir up shit (and forced me, his bitch, to do all the dirty work). Part of the problem is that most people are unaware of how the Ombudsman functions. But the larger problem, which nobody was brave enough to mention this morning, is that the Ombudsman’s deputy is the biggest gossip and troublemaker in the building. She spends all day wandering the halls devising creative ways to be indiscrete. And not just with her big mouth – she’s notoriously broken up several marriages here. Which is odd because she’s kind of a troll. She’s also buddy buddy with the Man - which says a lot about the two of them.

Oh that meeting was so tedious. The Ombudsman kept on reiterating that what goes on in his office is always confidential and I just wanted to laugh. And when asked the average number of issues he has to deal with on a weekly basis he said his office was so busy they couldn’t keep track. Snicker. The Mandarin Chief asked what to do if an employee gets a note from the doctor saying that reporter is unable to go on assignment or conduct telephone interviews due to health reasons. Um, can't pick up the phone due to illness?! Oh I so wanted to laugh. And then the Korean Chief asked the Ombudsman if it was ok to demote an employee down a pay level. Haha. (The other week he asked if it was ok to force somebody into early retirement.) And then The Man, who came up with the survey to make the Ombudsman look bad, announced that he though the Ombudsman’s office was doing a very good job and thanked him. This Factory is so wack….

I’ve been listening to Destroyer’s This Night lately. Kind of Sparklehorse meets T-Rex meets Hunky Dory. They have a new one, Your Blues, coming out next week. Damn there’s some good music coming out of Canada these days. And I’m not talking Celine, Avril, or Alannis (who thankfully seems to have disappeared). Check out The Hidden Cameras, Hawskley Workman, Hot Hot Heat...

Skunkeye vs Herbert

Tuesday is new music day and I treated myself to this. Makes me so happy. Skunkeye wants Herbert to remix his life. Moloko “Sing It Back” remix brought back many memories. Reminds me of hot nights in Malate for some resaon.

Does any one out there know where I can obtain this? Skunkeye needs it badly. Also, Jane Birkin’s upcoming album Rendez-Vous looks exciting – duets with Beth Gibbons, Manu Chao, Paolo Conte and Caetano Veloso among others! I hope it hurries up and gets to the US.

Work is so wack, we just gotta laugh and roll with it. First it was out with beloved R and in with Jingaling. Now out with Joshie and in with the Slovak. But Skunkeye remains - for now.

This Skunkeye is Condemned

I’d been looking forward to, or at least been curious about, last night’s TV movie, The Mystery of Natalie Wood. It was really quite a murky production. Director Peter Bogdanovich clearly has some peculiar fascinations (he ultimately married the younger sister of his murdered girlfriend, centerfold Dorothy Stratten)… I’m not sure what his connection to Natalie Wood is...they probably partied together in the Hollywood Hills back in the seventies.

Like many of his fellow hotshot directors (DePalma, Polanski – though perhaps redeemed by The Pianist) from the “decade under the influence,” Bogdanovich clearly is no longer at the top of his game. Although last year’s The Cat’s Meow was rather a fun romp. The Mystery of Natalie Wood was haphazard and tedious, and the mixing of contemporary interviews, old film clips, and pedestrian movie-of-week acting just didn’t work for me. South African actress Justine Waddell, who played Natalie Wood, might be one to watch and does bear a striking resemblance to the late actress, but the whole biopic was pretty much crap. Total kaka. And her sister, Lana Wood, seems to have serious and somewhat creepy Lorna Luft tendencies. A&E has been running a Natalie Wood biography which is a million times better. And reviews of Gavin Lambert’s recent book about the actress have been good.

Natasha Gregson Wagner, Natalie Wood’s daughter, is one of the most criminally underused working actresses in Hollywood right now. She’s the spitting image of her mom. She’s slinky, sexy, with a real mischievous air. And seems to have her stuff together. She was recently seen in the rhoroughly enjoyable but sadly short-lived series Pasadena. What a brilliant cast and show – puts The OC to shame.

I’ve always enjoyed Natalie Wood, especially her damaged ingenue roles in films like Splendor in the Grass, Rebel Without a Cause, and This Property is Condemned. Always thought she looked a bit like my mother. And catching parts of West Side Story this past weekend reminded me of just what a breathtaking production that is. Just an aside… Gypsy featured that wacky bugle-playing DC mayoral candidate, who still has billboard on U Street – ya gotta have a gimmick. I used to work with her young lover/husband(?) at an arts organization… she appeared to be a bit unbalanced and kept on telling people I was a nazi. Once I was with them and she tried to get her buddy Marlon Brando on the phone to get him to come to Adam’s Morgan Day.

I remember Natalie Wood’s mysterious death vividly. It was 1981 and I had just moved to the United States for the first time so every thing that happened that year has a particular resonance. Until then I had been living in Europe and Asia so I dove in head first trying to get up to speed on American culture. I was young but old enough to read the newspaper and watch the news on TV and 1981 was a really kind of strange and spooky year. One of my mom’s best friends, a diplomat’s wife, committed suicide and that was in the news. That plane crashed into the 14th street bridge. Reagan got shot in 1981 - actually right down the street from where I am now living. And victim James Brady was my grandmother's neighbor for years. My classmate and swim team partner got shot and killed by her mother. Who ultimately met and got engaged to John Hinkley, Jr while at St. Elizabeth’s. Grace Kelly died in a car crash – who knew that 20 years later Skunkeye would party with her son? America was a scary place for young Skunkeye in 1981.