The Skunkeye Consumer Guide

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Kooshi, a seven-year-old mixed breed shorthair cat, hisses from his perch on the window ledge, inside his home in Rishon Letzion, Israel, Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2003. The Israeli cat was banned by a local officials from circulating freely outside, apparently because its jet black color was frightening the residents. (AP Photo/Barak Pachter)

I know, I know, I've been horrendously lazy with this blog as of late. I promise to write soon about 21 Grams, In America, pumpkin risotto, delightful flowering winter plants, and the rough trade my housemate is keeping in my house much to my displeasure. I need an intern for this shit. In the interim, here are non-answers to your search queries:

1. backs on blonds movies
I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is like when in the opening credits of old James Bond movie they project things like lava-lamp designs on their backs and silhouetes.

2. paris hilton + geeting out of car
I think I know what you are trying to find, dude. And I'm not posting it. The photo is more than likely doctored so that really isn't her snatch. "Geeting"...? Are you French?

3. Paris Hilton video on MJ in the morning
I've never seen/heard of MJ in the morning. Is it this? I don't think they will be showing the video though because of lawyers and all. And I don't think Paris will be appearing beacuse she has cancelled all appearances due to her profound shame. Watch The Simple Life tonight, though.

4. 1/2 price salty anal weiner bugers
Alright, alright, either somebody really knows what they want or is really desperate. Out of kindness, I will direct you here. I hereby wash my hands clean. Paris, you have been good to me, but I'm going to have to cut this relationship off.

5. fidel ramos+south seas pearl+national
Its funny because I personally know Fidel Ramos. He is the former president of the Philippines. Spent a lovely Christmas eve with them once. As or South Sea Pearls, I refer to my friend Kitty's Financial Times article elsewhere in my blog. Happy hunting!

La Disparition

Well, I sealed the deal. I now will have more space but far less money. I really need to curb my compulsive music and garment consumption.

Listened to the two Keren Ann albums I got from France last night to celebrate. Very dreamy and introspective, there are obvious connections to the late sixties early seventies post yeh-yeh Francoise Hardy and Aspen Murderess Claudine Longet (I was living in Paris when it happened and my grandfather bought a bunch of her records on vinyl- somebody stole them a few years ago), and the music truly benefits from Benjamin Biolay's songwriting contributions and rich production. Apparently Keren Ann's Israeli father is descended from a family of Russian Jews and her mother is the daughter of a Javanese woman and a Dutch officer and she grew up listening to everything from French 'variété' and American folk to traditional Yiddish music. I've heard she has recorded an album in English that is awaiting release but I don't seeing Americans really digging her uniquely gallic stuff.

Biographie De L. Philipsen
La Disparition

Ridge died on the BnB. I hope he is really dead. He got burned in an incinerator after saving Brooke who was being lowered into it with a pully by Sheila who also escaped.
She will open her legs to consoling Nick next week.

a bit agitated today

Im a bit agitated today a long holiday weekend in DC is not a holiday for me. Actually wished that I had work yesterday. Very dull weekend.

My conscience is hurting today because, after a series of psychotic phone calls from an Indian stalker/friend (were talking every thirty seconds last night) that she refused to take and the every present dirty frying pan and spatula on the stove, I slipped Indonesian a note under her door. I was really pissed off (was trying to cook a nice meal) and should have cooled down. Oh well

Also, the departing room mate showed up out of the blue on Sunday wanting to move stuff out. She was lucky I was there since she has apparently lost the key. She disturbed a rare Netflix moment (Day for Night) and was really disorganized. She was pulling that charm thing which is not working on me any more and I finally got frustrated and told her I had to leave and she should go find her key. She still has stuff there. Also the toilet exploded and leaked.

Also my mobile hasn't had service for the past two days -something wrong either with the phone or the SIM card (I hope it is the latter). I have to bring it in to T-Mobile.

Due to a mail screw-up, I didn't know I had a wedding to go to on Saturday, September 13. I was really honored to have been invited (I had just assumed it would be a small family affair) and am delighted that they took up my suggestion for venue. Also, I really enjoy weddings and would really like to go. However, I was supposed to be at the beach house with my family through Sunday and I'm not giving that up especially since I have not been out of town since the end of March and really need some time away. Im trying to co-ordinate with my family to re-shuffle.

Work is obviously really dull and slow today and Essie is out.

Saw Thirteen on Saturday really gritty stuff- should find a large audience. Evan Rachel Wood is really one to watch. Like a junior miss version of the post-Tom Nicole. There was a fat old man reeking of alcohol sitting near me and I swear he was getting off on the film so I had to move to the other side of the theater.

Finally saw some QESD in the afternnon when it started to rain. There's a an obscene amount of product placement going on. I was a bit threatened by their constant use of West Elm since when I first discovered it two years ago it was my little secret. Now it will be everywhere. Ive seen Thom Filicias design work often in magazines and feel he is the only real "expert" on the show except for maybe the grooming guy (always work the product in from the back of the head) but that's pretty common. I mean there are a lot interior designers on TV right now with all those Trading Spaces type shows but how legit are they certainly not "thousands of plastic flowers glued to bathroom walls" Hildi Santo Tomas? And I don't know where they found that Carson Kressley creature (apparently he spent many years at Polo Ralph Lauren - hard to imagine his flaming pleather pants and over-the-top affectedness in that culture but what do I know) but he is here to stay like Melissa Rivers and Blackwell's list. The victims seem to sincerely appreciate their transformations and at least the Fab Five respect their protegee's sensibilities and needs. Jai is supposed to provide "culture" whatever that means but don't try his tip about opening CD plastic wrap by swiping it against the side of a table top. It gouges the wood and doesn't even work! Maybe he used a glass table top. I hate those. The sharp corners can poke out toddlers or dogs eyes. Also you fall on them when you are drunk and really get hurt. Hate em.

Here is Skunkeye's tip: To remove a new CD from the plastic wrap, buy one of those $1 openers at the check-out counter at your local record store. They really work and will make you look cool, like a real connoisseur, when you have guests coming over for martinis.

Speaking of product placement also saw the MTV VMAs, or at least the pre-show and Madonna's performance. Pretty desperate stuff that kiss although I must say that "Hollywood" song has been in my head ever since falling asleep in the Gap. On a serious note, I think if had to chose between Christina and Britney I'd have to go with Xtina. There's a dark current going on with Dirty girl like she actually has some depth to her - and she has better voice but she needs to stop channeling Cher.

Don't see The Other Side of the Bed. It is a light-hearted romantic farce from Spain about two beautiful couples who cheat on each other in a Three's Company kind of scenario. The actors are eye candy, especially Paz Vega (Sex & Lucia), and they break out into lip synched song a la Eight Women (without the camp context) but it is all very flimsy stuff.

I didn't purchase anything this weekend. Oh wait, I did buy a belt, mod girl face T-shirt, and black zippered cardigan at H & M, but that was for under $30 and I don't know where I even put them in my room. Downtown H & M is clearly going after the "urban" market. Also bought Client - like H & M, disposable, not memorable, with a slight trashy aftertaste you want to get rid of

Leak

Last night we had another storm. My ceiling started leaking. This is the first time I have noticed this and I think it is another sign that it is time to move.

I went to the Korean corner store to buy an onion and was ranting about my leak. A young woman paying for her purchases said she knows a good roof guy. She lives on my street and she invited me into her casa to sit in her sala. She is Moroccan but grew up in Spain and works at Whole Foods Georgetown in the cheese section and she says that the company is evil. She has met Paul Bowles in her native Tangiers and we smoked my new Gitanes Blonds. Her casa is kind of a dump but she says the rent is cheap. I'm going to help her rescue her ailing house plants. She was watching telenovas on Telemundo.

Which reminds me I was watching Univision the other night and they have a version of "The Bachelor" called "La Jaula" It looks exactly the same except that they are speaking Spanish.